Women in Charge: It’s not just about the shoes.
Authenticity is often presented as an uncomplicated virtue, the pinnacle of skill and charisma, a cool and conquered aspect of contemporary leadership. But, you and I know it’s a whole lot more than just turning up to work in a pair of trainers.
The thing is, to be ‘authentic’ in role is not without risk and is often only possible for those of us who bypass social constructs - because of privilege. We know that racialised women, queer women, disabled women and working class women wrestle with this notion of authenticity everyday, because let’s face it racism, misogyny, bigotry and the inevitable retaliation this brings. If you’ve ever tried to be heard in a room full of people that don’t look or sound like you, that sense of other is very real.
Authenticity is not a universal experience and for many of us, the cost of authenticity is greater scrutiny, exclusion, or even career stagnation. It’s not a soft leadership attribute, it’s one of courage, clarity of purpose and self belief. Oh, and some people simply won’t like you, I know, shocking.
I decided some years ago that I would strive for authenticity, this was partly driven by my neurodiversity because it became increasingly difficult to mask the more senior I became. Basically, I couldn’t keep up the facade of leadership tradition.
My unwavering follower-ship of Audre Lorde from the age of 15 gave me some really clear ideas about feminist leadership. She talks about aligning our values with our actions, navigating power structures, and recognising when we can afford to take risks—and when we need to protect ourselves. This sense of identity and self belief is about deciding what parts of ourselves we share, how we lead with integrity, and how we carve out space in systems not built for us.
The Integrity Edge
You will often hear authenticity and integrity used interchangeably, but they are distinct, though deeply connected, concepts in leadership, sisters, not twins. Authenticity is about self-expression—being true to who you are.
Integrity, on the other hand, is about consistency and ethical grounding—doing what is right, even when it’s inconvenient or costly, “Integrity is not simply being true to yourself, but being true to what is right” (Bill George, 2003).
Sometimes the two things aren’t aligned and that’s the rub. For women in leadership we have a range of expectations and projections that drift through an organisations’ psychic ether. My research and others show that women in leadership are often forced into gendered archetypes, the nurturing mother, the seductive temptress, evil witch or woman scorned Kill Bill (apparently my very own nickname) - all before they are seen as credible leaders (Mavin & Grandy, 2016). The stereotypes that define women’s social roles still shape leadership perceptions, making it harder for women to be seen as authoritative authentic figures without first negotiating these deeply ingrained cultural narratives (Heilman, 2001). It’s hard for someone to take you seriously if their psyche has trapped you in one of these projections, the trick is not to respond as if, i.e. I am not the mother of my organisation and any sign of this gives me the ick!
Simultaneously women leaders are scrutinised more deeply for their ethical and moral decision making, Eagly and Carli (2007). This creates a paradox: women must maintain impeccable integrity but tread carefully when expressing their true selves. When you put the gendered projections and the higher moral bar together the result is that women leaders are more likely to be accused of betrayal.
So, when I signed up for feminist leadership I agreed to try and do both things: the courage to be authentic and the discipline to lead with integrity, ensuring that your authenticity doesn’t become self-serving but is instead in service of justice, fairness, and collective good and that one’s integrity doesn’t look and feel like a moral high ground, humility is my friend.
Stepford Wives
If you’re my age, the Stepford Wives reference probably makes more sense, but the modern tale feels a bit more dramatic because it’s real. I recently started reading *Human Rights and Robot Wrongs* by Susie Alegra and the opening chapter describes how female robots have achieved levels of visibility and authority in spaces where women still struggle to break through. As I read on I could feel my hackles rise.
Sophia the Robot (I even feel weird calling her that), was granted Saudi Arabian citizenship in 2017, giving her rights that many human women in the country still lack. She has spoken and been given a title at the United Nations, world leaders tripping over themselves to get an audience and she has been celebrated by media all over the world. And guess what she embodies an artificial, hyper-feminised version of womanhood. Wild.
In the world of virtual influencers like Shudu and Lil Miquela who are completely synthetic female personalities are securing brand deals and endorsements at a rate that outpaces many real women in business. You won’t be surprised to find out that the companies that own these robots are men, so the patriarchy cashes in again - but let’s not go down that rabbit hole for now 😳.
So, what does this tell us about authenticity? Human women, with all our complexity, emotional depth, power, are often seen as too risky, I’m not surprised some folk prefer the robot version. An ‘authentic' woman, one who asserts her own ideas, challenges norms, and refuses to conform is more threatening than an engineered, controlled, and programmed version of womanhood. All I’m saying is hell hath no fury than a robot woman scorned… My advice watch Ex Machina 😬. Put simply it’s another patriarchal sleight of hand, replacing real women with a more palatable alternative.
This has made me reflect on the risks we take every day when authenticity is prized as a leadership quality. We are told that being authentic makes us better leaders. But in reality, authenticity is ethereal, risky, and subjective. It is celebrated when it aligns with societal expectations but also penalised when it disrupts them.
Authenticity and Privilege
The fact is that white women are more likely to be perceived as authentic in leadership roles and will have less barriers to fight. (Eagly & Carli, 2007). This is widely discussed by Black leaders with some very powerful analysis from Aimée Laramore.
Don’t even get me started on the question of intersectionality and leadership. It’s a minefield of navigating competing barriers and social inequality. The quest for authenticity so great, meaning some of us have to pick and choose how we show up.
Polly Neate’s mantra, “Know yourself, be yourself,” is an important feminist framing of authenticity. She is making the point that you cannot safely be yourself as a woman leader without some serious insight into yourself and knowing how your identity intersects with systems of power. What parts of your authenticity are safe to express? What parts require strategic management? I basically have a list of things I try and keep out of my leadership, swearing like a fish wife (I don’t always conquer this one), the impatience of middle age and the fact is - I’m shy - I have to perform on the daily. This is not being inauthentic, it’s about self care, pragmatism and a strategic decision to adapt and focus on my role.
What you won’t find me doing anymore is masking my north london accent, frankly it fools no one. I also won’t be pressured to dress a certain way either - I will wear big jewlerry and trainers (because sometimes it is about trainers) until the end of time! Or, and this is a big one, I won’t be people pleasing, again, it fools no one.
Authenticity is Not “Bring Your Whole Self to Work”
A common misconception is that authenticity means full transparency—bringing your emotions, struggles, and personal life into the workplace. No. In periods of high stress I have awful anxiety dreams about being naked at work, that I’d somehow forgotten to get dressed but went to that meeting anyway (I know the cliche is embarrassing). I am also an over sharer, neurodiversity kicking down my boundaries every day - although, I might tell you a lot of my stories, believe me it’s the ones I don’t tell you that are most interesting.
For many of us work is a primary factor in our identity and personhood, but it’s not the whole thing and now in a hybrid world creating the space between work, home and self becomes much harder. I remind myself of the wisdom of Audre Lorde (1984),
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
Women, particularly those in leadership are often expected to be available, emotionally attuned, and endlessly accommodating - remember those projections I talked about (Gilligan, 1982). Being authentically you doesn’t give people a permission slip or an open door to your inner soul nor do they have rights to you in any way.
Now I’ve described all the worse case scenarios let me give you some of the good stuff. Being an authentic leader is a game changer, it’s a privilege, it does make you a better leader and it does move you closer to that quest for integrity.
Introducing…
Women in Charge Playbook
Authenticity in leadership does not happen by accident; it is cultivated through reflection, support, and intentionality. For women, navigating authenticity requires balancing self-expression with strategic leadership. The following tools can help women leaders preserve their authenticity while managing the external pressures and biases they face:
1. Reflexive Practice – More than just reflection, reflexive practice is about critically examining how your experiences, biases, and positionality shape your leadership. It involves questioning assumptions, engaging with diverse perspectives, and recognising how external forces influence your decisions. This deeper level of insight fosters intentional and adaptable leadership. Don’t get complacent.
2. Peer Support – Connecting with a network of trusted peers, mentors, and sponsors who understand the challenges of leadership is invaluable. Women leaders thrive when they have access to supportive communities where they can share experiences and strategies. You should see our WhatsApp groups - saving each other on the daily.
3. Coaching & Professional Development – Leadership coaching can provide valuable insights into navigating authenticity strategically. Developing leadership skills through courses, workshops, and coaching sessions helps reinforce confidence and resilience (Ibarra, 2015). My coach won’t collude although he’s firmly in my corner, he challenges without shaming me, sits alongside me in my leadership and helps me make sense of all the stuff.
4. Defining Boundaries – Knowing what aspects of your personal and professional life to share and what to protect is key to leading with both integrity and sustainability (Lorde, 1984). You can’t be everything to all people, no matter how good you are.
5. Values-Based Leadership – Identifying and consistently acting upon your core values strengthens your credibility as a leader. Authentic leadership is about more than personal expression—it is about leading in ways that align with your ethical and professional principles. Trust your gut, if it doesn’t sit right, it’s probably not.
6. Strategic Self-Expression – Understanding how different audiences perceive you and adapting your communication style without losing authenticity can be a powerful leadership tool. This does not mean being inauthentic—it means making conscious decisions about how to present yourself to be most effective. Sometimes going all Finsbury Park doesn’t serve me or the cause.
7. Knowing When to Push Back – Not every battle is worth fighting, but some are necessary. Developing the ability to choose when to challenge norms and when to conserve energy is key to sustaining long-term impact. Authenticity in leadership means playing the long game—knowing when to take a stand and when to step. I like a brawl but sometimes it just isn’t necessary.
8. Humility, Self-Deprecation & Humour – Leadership doesn’t mean taking yourself too seriously. The ability to laugh at yourself, admit mistakes, and regulate your ego is an underrated yet powerful leadership skill. Women in leadership often face pressure to prove themselves at every turn, but a well-placed bit of self-deprecating humour can diffuse tension, foster relatability, and build trust. Authenticity doesn’t mean projecting perfection—it means being comfortable enough in your own leadership to acknowledge flaws and to create space for gentle humour along the way. Don’t get carried away though, there’s a fine line between humility and putting oneself down.
Conclusion
Authenticity in leadership is not a one-size-fits-all concept. It is shaped by privilege, by power, and by our unique lived experience and our boundaries. For women leaders, being authentic means navigating expectations with intention. It means knowing ourselves but also knowing the systems around us. It means making strategic choices about when and how to show up. And most importantly, it means holding onto our values while carving out leadership spaces that reflect who we truly are.
#BeMoreYou
I’m 50 in a minute and so being authentic is more acceptable and expected - but I’m reminded that when I was 30 there wasn’t many women leaders who looked like me or spoke like me. I now make it my business to show up for that 30 year old, even when it’s tough. Tell me about what authentic leadership looks like to you…
Leadership is better with a good playlist. I’ve put together a mix of feminist anthems, confidence boosters, and rebellious bangers to go with this blog.
Playlist - Women In Charge Authenticity
References
• Catalyst. (2020). Words Matter: Language, Gender, and Leadership. Catalyst.
• Ciulla, J. B. (1995). Leadership Ethics: Mapping the Territory. Business Ethics Quarterly, 5(1), 5-28.
• Eagly, A. H., & Carli, L. L. (2007). Through the Labyrinth: The Truth About How Women Become Leaders. Harvard Business Review Press.
• Eagly, A. H., & Karau, S. J. (2002). Role Congruity Theory of Prejudice Toward Female Leaders. Psychological Review, 109(3), 573–598.
• George, B. (2003). Authentic Leadership: Rediscovering the Secrets to Creating Lasting Value. Jossey-Bass.
• Gilligan, C. (1982). In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women’s Development. Harvard University Press.
• Harts, M. (2019). The Memo: What Women of Colour Need to Know to Secure a Seat at the Table. Seal Press.
• Heilman, M. E. (2001). Description and Prescription: How Gender Stereotypes Prevent Women’s Ascent Up the Organizational Ladder. Journal of Social Issues, 57(4), 657–674.
• hooks, b. (2000). Feminism is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. South End Press.
• Ibarra, H. (2015). Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader. Harvard Business Review Press.
• Koenig, A. M., Eagly, A. H., Mitchell, A. A., & Ristikari, T. (2011). Are Leader Stereotypes Masculine? A Meta-Analysis of Three Research Paradigms. Psychological Bulletin, 137(4), 616–642.
• Lorde, A. (1984). Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches. Crossing Press.
• Mavin, S., & Grandy, G. (2016). Women Leaders, Self-Stereotyping and the ‘Being Stretched’ Metaphor. Human Relations, 69(8), 1690–1717.
• Rosette, A. S., & Livingston, R. W. (2012). Failure is Not an Option for Black Women: Effects of Organisational Performance on Leaders with Single versus Dual-Subordinate Identities. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 48(5), 1162–1167.
• Lean In & McKinsey & Company. (2020). Women in the Workplace 2020. Retrieved from Lean In.
• Johnson Center for Philanthropy. (2021). With Crisis Comes Change: Black Women and the Glass Cliff. Retrieved from Johnson Center.
• UN News. (2017). ‘Sophia’ the Robot Tells UN: ‘I am Here to Help Humanity Create the Future’. Retrieved from UN News.
• Dream Farm Agency. (2023). Top Virtual Influencers Dominating Social Media. Retrieved from Dream Farm Agency.
AI helped me right this blog post, my second brain is called Dr Nova Sage (I named her, cool, I know), however, the structure, tone, ideas, content creation/framing are mine. Images either my own or created based on my creative prompts and direction.